Comments for Andie Diemer's Weblog

Comment on Elon community wants economy, uniting America addressed at Obama’s inauguration by Janna

Janna — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 16:06:05 +0000

The lead is too slow for my taste. I think you need to specify the point of the story higher in the copy. Traditionally even though the point is included in the headline we also include it up high in the story – you tell your audience and then tell them again… You got to talk to a couple of interesting women, so this story has good characters. I would have led with Foster’s A, B, C quote on the economy – good one.

Comment on Elon hosts first club baseball tournament, capture win by Janna

Janna — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 19:12:05 +0000

It’s good that you worked in a sports story, too, just to show your range.

Comment on Elon charges Palin protestor with disorderly conduct by Janna

Janna — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 19:10:35 +0000

Milne’s letter of appeal is good additional information. It’s the kind of thing audiences want to be able to access online. Keep remembering to continue to gather this sort of additional information to be able to link to in your professional work.

Comment on The seed of the need for acceptance, security planted by blind eyes by Janna

Janna — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 19:07:00 +0000

I won’t be commenting on every article you have posted recently, due to the massive amount of content I will be evaluating over the next few days, but I did want to let you know that – as usual – I am impressed with the depth of quality of your reporting and your ability to focus on what’s important, get that specific detail and report it well.

Comment on ‘Poor Earl:’ Elon’s living history book by Janna

Janna — Sun, 07 Dec 2008 19:02:25 +0000

Lovely profile. I really enjoyed the video clip, too. It makes it so much more meaningful to SEE adn HEAR Earl saying these things. It really is an important slice of Elon history to get this clip!

Comment on First exit poll results pin economy as top concern by Janna

Janna — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 02:24:54 +0000

Nice. You turned that around pretty fast. It makes the exit poll data more interesting when you can see all of the questions and how they were phrased. Hmmmm. Wonder where you got the Q’s? You can thank Glenn.

Comment on Fadaam pushes for open minds, communication to heal American, Iraqi wound by andersj

andersj — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 14:13:04 +0000

Best lead I have seen yet! You have good information, with accurate details. This still needs work in regard to internal organization. It see-saws. You also have a few mechanical errors spaced throughout. I have an example of a re-work I will show you today. Get the photos and video posted soon!

Comment on Palin pushes choice, reform at rally by andersj

andersj — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 11:08:50 +0000

You provide excellent professional coverage. I suggest that as a portfolio piece you want this story to stand on its own, and in that case the lead is weak. A scene-setter (Republicans, Democrats and undecided voters roasted on a 90-degree mid-October…) could be effective.
It is good to have the photo up top – grabs readers. Make the photo credit into a second line of the caption – don’t let just one word break down lower (that’s called a “widow” in the J business). At an opportunity like this, you should have brought your own camera and taken photos. The weakness in your portfolio is that you haven’t been grabbing the opportunity to repeatedly prove that you can report in multiple platforms simultaneously. This event was stretched over several hours, so you could have grabbed some crowd-color shots of your own and still reported thoroughly.
AP Style is toward, not towards.
Make it small-business owners.
It should be all-of-the-above approach.
It should be “you betcha.”
Capitalize White House.
Regarding security escorting the protester out – you spelled it “protesting.”
Put a comma into Washington, D.C.

Comment on Palin to speak on Elon University campus Thursday by Janna

Janna — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:36:27 +0000

It’s nice to see this posted. What do you think about using the MCT photo on the blog? Do we have an all-campus-media license with MCT that is open enough for this use of the photography? It’s a good question to ask because I’d like to be able to tell all Reporting students that they could use the photos available through that service, but I don’t know. Maybe Colin could check this out for us.

Comment on Ever Elon campaign launches Saturday by Janna

Janna — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:32:34 +0000

You need to correct the errors in this version of this story. It’s good to see your correction in the Pendulum this week, too, but remember that this version is “out there” online and it misrepresents what Ever Elon is, which is a campaign to raise endowment money and not for capital construction projects.